Hello? You heard me, but did you listen to me?  

Good listening skills are the foundation of exceptional communication skills. As good listeners we should listen with our ears as well as eyes. We not only hear the words that the other person is speaking but see the non-verbal cues they are using. Good listening skills help us build stronger relationships, be better friends, and be more effective and successful in our careers.

Interpersonal relationships are affected by not listening. When we hear what people are saying, but don’t really listening, we miss the opportunity to connect with that person. We can miss out on the intended purpose of the message, miscommunicate completely with the other person, or miss the opportunity to build a stronger relationship with them.

Interpersonal relationships at work are affected by poor listening skills as well. When we don’t listen to instructions properly we can appear to be ineffective and inadequate at our jobs. We waste valuable time, energy and resources producing work that is not asked for or needed. All of which makes us look unprofessional and incompetent.

Check out these links to additional information about the importance of listening in communication:

Click to access Cpe%2004%2038.pdf

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-empowerment-diary/201708/deep-listening-in-personal-relationships

I have experienced the disappointment of poor listening first hand when I missed the opportunity to see my daughter receive an academic award. When we were discussing it I was busy with evening chores and preparing dinner. I was only partially listening so I didn’t pick up on her cues that she really wanted me to come to the school assembly when she received it. She knew I would have to rearrange my schedule and possibly miss class in order to attend so she down-played the award, telling me it was no big deal, she really didn’t care if I was there. In reality she would have liked me to see her receive it. My poor listening skills disappointed us both.

All you really want to do is get your point across and the person you are speaking to just isn’t getting it! Its SO frustrating, right! That’s the perception gap. When what you’re trying to say and communicate is just not being heard by your audience.

Who’s fault is it? Yours? Are you just not using the right words and strategies to communicate? Your audience’s? Are they just not listening to what you’re saying, are they distracted?

Chances are it’s a bit of both. Once the communication process begins to break down the gap can grow bigger and bigger and have some really negative consequences.

Check out this great article from the Huffington Post: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/anne-loehr/why-communication-fails-a_b_5627692.html

The communication gap happens to everyone! I recall an exchange I had with a new assistant manager of our business. I was simply trying to explain how I wanted the cash outs from our cash registered totaled and accounted for. I had specific categories which matched my accounting books and it seemed very straight forward to me. She seemed to acknowledge what I was saying, she seemed to be following my instructions. Unfortunately, she had no idea what I was talking about and was feeling too overwhelmed to speak up. I wasn’t expressing my ideas clearly and in a manner that she could understand and she wasn’t speaking up to let me know she was confused. Classic communication fail! It took some time, and we both had to work hard and challenge ourselves to be see the situation from the other’s point of view, but after a few training sessions we got there. Interestingly enough, this experience improved our professional relationship.